A Cheechako’s Guide To Looking Cool

Milan, New York, Paris, Nome – all capitals of fashion in the consumer driven world we live in.  With Nome’s meager population soon about to burst with tourists and photographers from all over the world who will be attending Iditarod, I thought I’d use my blog power to prepare any of you who might not understand the intricacies of the Alaskan fashion scene.  I want you to come to Iditarod and shine like a beautiful star – not make a wardrobe’s worth of faux pas. That’s something only a cheechako would do.  Let’s get real people.

Wearing a owl hat down the runway? Sassy! I like it!

HABERDASHERY:
Always wear a hat.  It’s not just the advice your mom would give you as you’d run outside on a cold winter’s day as a child.  A hat can be a fashion lifesaver.  Maybe your snow pants are giving you holster hips. The answer? Distract with a hat.  Your jacket is an unfortunate pea-soup green?  Dazzle the masses with your headgear.  Hats are the new black this season in Nome and the more avant-garde, the better.



FACETIME:

Work that face girl!

When interacting with the Nome paparazzi, your face is your only real selling point.  Worried about cramming this year’s thighs into last year’s jeans?  You’re cool, bro.  Feeling nervous about that full back tattoo of a dolphin you got in college?  Don’t – no one is going to get a peek at as much as a dorsal fin.  You see, when you’re bundled up from pinky toe to chin, your face is the only proof that there is indeed a human dwelling underneath the layers of cotton, nylon, and if you’re lucky, maybe even some fancy microfiber.
There are several pitfalls to living the face-only fashion lifestyle however.  Runny nose?  Yeah, everyone can see you do the mitten-wipe.    Chapped lips?  You need to take care of that kind of stuff.  You only get one first impression with those noses, eyes, and lips.  Make it a good one.

Townies or Modeling’s next big thing? You tell me.

BOOTS IN BULK:
When you’re packing your bags for the Nome fashion experience, don’t even look at those high heels delicately balanced on the top rack of your shelf.  And guys, the only cold those penny loafers should experience in their lifetime is the air waiting outside in the garbage bin.  If you’re no jive-turkey, this winter you’ll be in boots.  No, I’m not talking about some discount Ugg-style foot-warmers or chunky sneakers.  I’m talking BOOTS people.  The bigger, the more gnarled, and the heavier, the better.  If your feet aren’t tired and sweating, you don’t deserve to be among Nome’s fashion elite.


I want to see you bring your A game to Nome come March.  If you have any fashion questions please feel free to ask an expert in the comment section below.  Here’s a few more freebies for you in the meantime:

Dark jackets are out – neons are in.

Sunglass are not only a sight saving tool, but can add a bit of edginess to your facetime.

Go from Average Alaskan to Sub-Artic Sweeheart with a kicky scarf!

Sunglasses, a hat, and a collected demeanor will get you anywhere.

Ditch the eyeliner – get frosty!

Never show too much skin!